Thesis proposal pt. 2

This week I organized my thoughts, and did some soul searching. Maybe if I went to Pennsylvania also it would have been much easier.

My thesis project is about self awareness. The desperate calls for social change that we hear (or choose not to hear) daily will only remain as such if the change does not begin within each individual. Of course, we are all fools when it comes to becoming in touch with our inner selves, thanks to fear, thanks to laziness, thanks to the fact that it is just so much easier to sit on the couch and watch America's Next Top Model than to embark of a quest of self discovery.

Doing a thesis on self awareness, I will undoubtedly become heavily drenched in hypocrisy by the end of this process, for the only possible way for me to truly understand anything about myself is to trek through Patagonia alone for two, maybe three years, with nothing but Pasternak's Dr. Zhivago and some Tolstoy for company. Since I cannot do that, at least not until spring time (of course Genevieve would strongly disagree), I must then turn to that which is familiar. To illustrate my thesis, I will enlist the aide of one of my favorite stories of all time, the story of Bambi, as conceived by Felix Salten. Through the conceit of Bambi's life, my thesis will be shaped. Here is a rough mind map, the final version won't be quite so boxy:



Two major projects that must be completed this semester are of course, the yearbook and the process book. My portion of the yearbook will conveniently coincide with my thesis:

Yearbook theme: When will you stop feeling sorry for yourself? There are only two reasons why you would continually live in a state of self judgment. One is, you're an asshole, and there is just no hope for salvation if that is the case. The second reason is that for most people the mind has developed into something that does incessant describing, comparing, and judging. Sometimes we mistakenly put our trust in this inner voice and think we are trusting our self. We lose our identity and follow the rules of should and should not.

The four sections of my yearbook parallel the four stages of the development of self awareness as illustrated by my mind map above.

Section one: Seacliff Asylum (This section will illustrate the consequences of a loss of self identity, a complacency toward the perecption of our selves which the external world has impressed upon us. This is actually stage two of the Bambi conceit, but I am choosing to present this as section one due to visual considerations.)

Section two: You pretend, I pretend, it is ok to pretend (This section illustrates stage one on the mind map, a stage of total lack of self awareness. Here, the emphasis is placed completely on externalities. The obsession with labeling, fitting into physical roles, is demonstrated.)

Section three: The lake (You've seen this, these are those black and white spreads. Explanation of this section has been covered in a previous post. The mood I am trying to convey in this section is that of exposure, nakedness, and danger.)

Section four: The Great Prince of the forest (In this section I am trying to abstract the internal state of mind. To convey a sense of happiness and well being, qualities available only through mental enlightenment, and a true understanding of what it means to exist in this world.)


In addition to the yearbook, I will be creating a process book. I will address each element of the process book as outlined by the syllabus, with the exception of perhaps the symbol creating, it is just too cute for me...maybe I'll do one...at the end. Here are the steps I will take:
1. Finalized thesis map
2. Self awareness survey
3. Essay
4. Type book of my essay
5. Symbols, posters, etc.

Gen, could you please extend the deadline for the final presentation of the thesis book to the first week after Christmas break to ensure that I don't half-ass this book or the yearbook. I will construct all the elements this semester (mind map, survey, etc.), but I just need a little more time on the binding/sequencing/presentation aspect of this project.

That is all.